2010: The Year of Transitions

I've gone through transitions in previous years, but none like these. 2010 has been life changing on so many levels that my head should be spinning while pea soup is shooting out of my mouth. At some points during this year, I've felt on the verge of this breaking point, but now as I sit and think about it, I feel a sense of calm. The size of this serenity is undetectable to me, nor do I know if it's permanent, but it doesn't much matter. What concerns me most is remaining grounded. Engaging in marriage and becoming pregnant have been the most scary, yet the most profound. It forced me to reevaluate my workaholism, the alpha-female within, and warranted a prioritization of what's truly important in life. The outcome, for me, was figuring out that output, my obsession with non-stop productivity, at the end of the day, were in fact getting me nowhere gratuitously. There were accomplishments without fulfillment.

Wifedom and mother-to-be-hood, believe it or not, have forced me inward. Who'd have thought that two of the most selfless acts would cause a person to analyze one's self so intensely?