2010: The Year of Transitions

I've gone through transitions in previous years, but none like these. 2010 has been life changing on so many levels that my head should be spinning while pea soup is shooting out of my mouth. At some points during this year, I've felt on the verge of this breaking point, but now as I sit and think about it, I feel a sense of calm. The size of this serenity is undetectable to me, nor do I know if it's permanent, but it doesn't much matter. What concerns me most is remaining grounded. Engaging in marriage and becoming pregnant have been the most scary, yet the most profound. It forced me to reevaluate my workaholism, the alpha-female within, and warranted a prioritization of what's truly important in life. The outcome, for me, was figuring out that output, my obsession with non-stop productivity, at the end of the day, were in fact getting me nowhere gratuitously. There were accomplishments without fulfillment.

Wifedom and mother-to-be-hood, believe it or not, have forced me inward. Who'd have thought that two of the most selfless acts would cause a person to analyze one's self so intensely?

The Great Search!

We're on the hunt! More of a journey actually, and would like YOUR input. You see, the boy's name is a no-brainer since the baby would take my husband's name, so right now we are on the search for the perfect girl's name in the event that we have, you guessed it, a girl! There's a 50/50 chance of this happening, ya'll, and so I want to be prepared. Here is how you can participate:

First, review the short list of names below and pair them with my last name- Campbell. This helps to get a feel for the full name. Then, sign up to follow my blog so that you can leave a comment underneath this post. (There's no obligation or spam attached to this.) Next, enter your favorite name choice in the comment box and submit it for publication to this entry! You can even choose more than one name, but please label them "1st choice, 2nd choice, etc." The only thing I ask is that you leave your vote on THIS page, not on facebook.

Thank you!

GIRLS NAMES

Amberlyn

Victoria

Kylie

Charlotte

Chloe Lynn

Taylor Marie

Things in 3's

At age 31, you notice things. For some, you notice things earlier on, for others, not so much. For me, well, I've always been one of those little flying feathered creatures who occasionally caught the worm. In my life, I've recognized the fact that things happen in three's. For example, right now I'm typing this post with my right hand, eating strawberries n' cream oatmeal with a spoon in my left, and feeling the gooey mess of olive oil drip down the top of my head, which my hair is saturated in (a home remedy for dry scalp courtesy of Dr. Oz.)

You see, physical things I cannot juggle, like oranges or tennis balls, but tasks, well that's a whole other story! Or is it? Right now I am at the end of my first trimester of pregnancy. I'm also a newly married woman, and someone who decided to take a hiatus from the career world in order to re-learn how to breath and be me. At the beginning of these big changes, I was not achieving any kind of solace. I felt lost, confused, sick at times, and still baffled by a sadness that I thought would "go away" as soon as these things entered my life. WRONG. After a few weeks of hemming and hawing over "what now?" or thinking, "F*ck! I've made a huge mistake!", and in between bouts of all-day nausea that some MD mistakenly labeled morning sickness (hopefully that mishap wasn't a Dr. Oz doing), I realized that it's all right to take this time to do NOTHING. I mean that. I finally, at thirty-one years of existence, have figured out that I can do absolutely nada for a little while and that is perfectly ok. And, the best part is my husband actually promotes this behavior for me. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking and I agree completely- I've hit the lottery with him.

But wait, let's get back to my "three's theory" for one moment. Before my epiphany, I sat on my couch curled up in a ball and recapped the year 2009 in my mind. While doing this, I discovered that three major things happened: 1- I got engaged, 2- I sold my apartment, and 3- I changed location of employment hoping to seek greener pastures. These things made me happy at times and had me worried at other times. In other words, this b*tch was an emotional basketcase. Digging deeper into my past, 2008 had another three things: purchasing my apartment, meeting my future husband (who I can honestly say I didn't know would become my spouse at the time because I don't believe in love-at-first anything), and having the closest person to me move away- my mom. These occurrences made me sit and attempt to figure out who I really was, with or without these happenings. Who is Dawn? But, I didn't actually think to settle into my recliner and give this question serious consideration until two years later, which leads me to 2010.

It was when I had no job, person, or other stimuli right in front of me distracting me from myself. The hubby was at work, the television cable was out, and my dog was asleep. I was by my self. Alone. With my scrambled feelings of, "Oh f*ck" and "Did I do the right thing?" This is when I pulled out my handy journal and wrote down these three things:

1. Relax

2. Write

3. Breathe

If I do one or all of these things consciously every day, I know I'm in good hands. My own. And my thoughts will never be astray for too long.