Are You There God?

No, it's not Margaret, it's me- Dawn. You know, the petite Italian that is sometimes loud, mostly ambitious, yet can easily frustrate? Well, I'm here God (yes, I admit it's a rare occasion) and I want your help. See, you've blessed me with an *amazing* man (thank you!) and as you may have heard, we're tying the knot; no denying that this is a very new and exciting time for me.

But, I 'm not here for that. Nope. Actually, today I want to talk about futures. As you know, my life is in transition beyond the changing of my marital status. You see, work has not been satisfying for a great long time now and I'm in need of change. My heartstrings are pulling me in the direction of my creativity, but teaching is what I've known for almost ten years. My gut is trembling slightly for fear of breaking out of routine and structure (which it craves) and steady paychecks (another craving), but my gut is also whispering, "Do it. Do it. Do it." So, maybe this is a good type of scared? Can I be scared in a good way?

I've been mulling over the idea that maybe I can incorporate teaching into the new creative job...hmm.

Alanis Got Married...So Why Aren't I Happy?

Everyone who's anyone knows that I LOVE Alanis Morissette. Her music (every album) seemed to morph into the soundtrack of my life at the exact moment she released it. I always considered her my cosmic sister with similar journal entries, being Geminis, and having long brown hair (although I could never get my hair to grow thaaat long as an adult.) I've been to over 25 of her concerts in the New York area, met her twice, hung out backstage and in a bar with her bandmates after shows, and was front row center for her off-Broadway performances in The Vagina Monologues and The Exonerated. Yes, she was my Canadian-turned-American Idol.

- Her Debbie Gibson days didn't bother me (I mean who could blame a teenager growing up in the 90's? We were all train wrecks!)

- The man behind her first rock hit, "You Oughta Know," (Dave whateverhisnameis from Full House) didn't even bother me.

- Her former fiance, Ryan Reynolds, for sure did NOT bother me (especially when I met him backstage at one of her shows. He's super tall and uber nice!)

BUT...

I have to say that when I found out that she married some random thirty year-old skinny white Eminem wannabe who goes by the name of "Souleye," I was pissed. Actually, I'm still pissed. Is she serious?? With all of her heartfelt well thought-out relationships and feelings, why would she marry this guy after only dating for a year? I mean, is he THAT awesome? I remember gushing with her over the rock of an engagement ring at one of her shows a couple of years ago when she first got engaged to Ryan. But, she was clear that she wasn't hurrying into any wedding plans and was just letting it happen whenever the opportunity presented itself. That was the Alanis I marveled at.

I know I sound pretty judgmental right now and probably even insensitive, but dammit, I'm disappointed. I sniff another failed relationship here. With all of her supposed "lessons learned" I think scurrying off to get married is so past tense, so Britney-like. Where's the Alanis I adore who thinks and worries and fine-tooth combs through everything to make sure it's right? I hope she didn't do this just to mask any remnants of pain from her previous engagement. I'm hoping she didn't do it because Ryan ran off and married Scarlet Johansson so soon after their breakup. That would just suck. Especially for a first marriage. I was rooting for a Cinderella ending for Alanis. After all, she deserves it! Well, maybe she'll put it in her book that's due out by year's end. Eh, you know I'll be on Amazon purchasing an advanced copy of it regardless.

Fresh Start

As many of you know, I am a writer. I've designed and maintained a blog before, but then found a man, got engaged, packed up my stuff, moved, and changed locations of my day job. All in a year. I must say that as overwhelming as the entire experience was, I learned a lot about myself and happiness and priorities.

Now, as my destination wedding rapidly approaches and my writing career begins to flourish, I am back to blogging to capture the experiences of these new beginnings. (My parents, after all, didn't name me Dawn for nothing!)

So, with the help of my little fingers and this here keyboard, "My New Beginnings," will be a place, my virtual cubicle, where I sit and document the good, bad, and indifferent.

Welcome.

And for those who stumbled here by mistake, I am providing you with a few links to my written work, which you can cut and paste into the address bar and check out so that we are better acquainted:

http://www.nypress.com/article-19718-flavor-of-the-week-scammed-conned-and-(almost)-blinded-by-love.html

http://www.silive.com/opinion/letters/index.ssf/2010/02/here_a_tax_there_a_tax_everywh.html

And for my latest gig as Contributing Writer go to: www.cupidspulse.com

Now, I must run and tend to the short ribs in the oven... (Lord help us all!)

Looking forward,

Dawn