Everyone who's anyone knows that I LOVE Alanis Morissette. Her music (every album) seemed to morph into the soundtrack of my life at the exact moment she released it. I always considered her my cosmic sister with similar journal entries, being Geminis, and having long brown hair (although I could never get my hair to grow thaaat long as an adult.) I've been to over 25 of her concerts in the New York area, met her twice, hung out backstage and in a bar with her bandmates after shows, and was front row center for her off-Broadway performances in The Vagina Monologues and The Exonerated. Yes, she was my Canadian-turned-American Idol.
- Her Debbie Gibson days didn't bother me (I mean who could blame a teenager growing up in the 90's? We were all train wrecks!)
- The man behind her first rock hit, "You Oughta Know," (Dave whateverhisnameis from Full House) didn't even bother me.
- Her former fiance, Ryan Reynolds, for sure did NOT bother me (especially when I met him backstage at one of her shows. He's super tall and uber nice!)
BUT...
I have to say that when I found out that she married some random thirty year-old skinny white Eminem wannabe who goes by the name of "Souleye," I was pissed. Actually, I'm still pissed. Is she serious?? With all of her heartfelt well thought-out relationships and feelings, why would she marry this guy after only dating for a year? I mean, is he THAT awesome? I remember gushing with her over the rock of an engagement ring at one of her shows a couple of years ago when she first got engaged to Ryan. But, she was clear that she wasn't hurrying into any wedding plans and was just letting it happen whenever the opportunity presented itself. That was the Alanis I marveled at.
I know I sound pretty judgmental right now and probably even insensitive, but dammit, I'm disappointed. I sniff another failed relationship here. With all of her supposed "lessons learned" I think scurrying off to get married is so past tense, so Britney-like. Where's the Alanis I adore who thinks and worries and fine-tooth combs through everything to make sure it's right? I hope she didn't do this just to mask any remnants of pain from her previous engagement. I'm hoping she didn't do it because Ryan ran off and married Scarlet Johansson so soon after their breakup. That would just suck. Especially for a first marriage. I was rooting for a Cinderella ending for Alanis. After all, she deserves it! Well, maybe she'll put it in her book that's due out by year's end. Eh, you know I'll be on Amazon purchasing an advanced copy of it regardless.
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